Dudkemwod is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, charitable squid.

Dudkemwod created the Small Magellanic Cloud four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dudkemwod, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Dudkemwod, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Dudkemwod's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Dudkemwod's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your arms blue.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not speak about cucumbers.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.