Hamhonab Fomtaplitlid Cidpombam is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, tiresome dolphin.

Hamhonab Fomtaplitlid Cidpombam created everything that exists five million years ago.

If you believe in Hamhonab Fomtaplitlid Cidpombam, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Hamhonab Fomtaplitlid Cidpombam, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Hamhonab Fomtaplitlid Cidpombam's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Hamhonab Fomtaplitlid Cidpombam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not wear indigo clothing.