Waptipbam is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, ruthless hippopotamus.

Waptipbam created matter three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Waptipbam, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Waptipbam, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Waptipbam's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Waptipbam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not dye your hair mauve.

5. Do not take Waptipbam's name in vain.