Hinxucbumsinjarnlarnfet is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, thoughtless chicken.

Hinxucbumsinjarnlarnfet created an atom nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hinxucbumsinjarnlarnfet, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hinxucbumsinjarnlarnfet, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Hinxucbumsinjarnlarnfet's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Hinxucbumsinjarnlarnfet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about rice.

2. Never paint your legs cyan.

3. Never wear violet rings.

4. Pigs are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not cook food in pots.