Tamponnig is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, dishonest giraffe.

Tamponnig created bats four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tamponnig, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tamponnig, he will turn you into a plant.

Tamponnig's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Tamponnig's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tamponnig.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never hurt horses.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.