Bitlamcut is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, calm duck.

Bitlamcut created the world nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bitlamcut, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bitlamcut, she will destroy your home solar system.

Bitlamcut's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Bitlamcut's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large tin sculpture of Bitlamcut on top of all buildings.

2. Never paint your legs pink.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Run away if four sheep approach from the west.

5. Do not eat lentils.