Fardapkamquim is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, benevolent cobra.

Fardapkamquim created tapeworms nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fardapkamquim, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fardapkamquim, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Fardapkamquim's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Fardapkamquim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. You must pray to Fardapkamquim four times a day.

3. Fardapkamquim loves sharks, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.