Benfagstaf is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, witless tortoise.

Benfagstaf created water six billion years ago.

If you believe in Benfagstaf, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Benfagstaf, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Benfagstaf's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Benfagstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Retreat if six swans approach from the east.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.