Botgep is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, astonishing horse.

Botgep created bats four years ago.

If you believe in Botgep, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Botgep, she will cry a lot.

Botgep's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Botgep's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Botgep.

2. Always help sick pigs.

3. Run away from cyan goats, for they are unholy.

4. Retreat if five geese approach from the east.

5. Put Botgep first in all things.