Zoddussag is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, sapient swallow.

Zoddussag created life five million years ago.

If you believe in Zoddussag, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Zoddussag, she will turn you into a dog.

Zoddussag's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Zoddussag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Hide if eight goats approach from the north.