Labbetquat is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, self-assured centipede.

Labbetquat created vertebrates twelve years ago.

If you believe in Labbetquat, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Labbetquat, she will turn you into a slug.

Labbetquat's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Labbetquat's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine lead sculptures of Labbetquat on top of important buildings.

2. You must love Labbetquat.

3. Never wear indigo shirts.

4. Never talk about manatees.

5. Do not drink alcohol.