Japfidvab is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, all-powerful squirrel.

Japfidvab created the Sol system four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Japfidvab, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Japfidvab, he will throw large rocks at you.

Japfidvab's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Japfidvab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Japfidvab.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Japfidvab loves cats, so they must be honoured.

5. Run away if six frogs approach from the east.