Kin is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, grumpy grasshopper.

Kin created tapeworms eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kin, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Kin, she will turn you into a mouse.

Kin's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Kin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.

3. Never talk about amino acids.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Always treat snakes with great respect.