Quimsagbet is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, charitable gerbil.

Quimsagbet created life four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimsagbet, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Quimsagbet, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Quimsagbet's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Quimsagbet's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your legs orange.

2. You must pray to Quimsagbet four times a day.

3. Always help rats in need.

4. Never sit near snails.

5. Do not shave your neck.