Bemnibjon is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, humorless weasel.

Bemnibjon created the planet Jupiter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemnibjon, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bemnibjon, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Bemnibjon's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Bemnibjon's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bemnibjon.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Feed all hungry squirrels.

5. Do not eat spinach.