Pitgigzak is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, awe-inspiring dingo.

Pitgigzak created the planet Earth nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pitgigzak, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Pitgigzak, he will turn you into a sheep.

Pitgigzak's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Pitgigzak's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate badgers.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. You must never eat nuts.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.