Gabwodcar is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, strong newt.

Gabwodcar created the planet Venus three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gabwodcar, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gabwodcar, she will turn you into a mole.

Gabwodcar's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Gabwodcar's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if eight great tits approach from the north.

2. Erect five carbon sculptures of Gabwodcar on top of important buildings.

3. Never write about comets.

4. Always obey Gabwodcar's priests.

5. Never pour water over plants.