Gupjipapp is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, dishonourable deer.

Gupjipapp created a charm quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gupjipapp, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gupjipapp, she will torture you forever.

Gupjipapp's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Gupjipapp's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not commit murder.