Davjamtan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, blissful coyote.

Davjamtan created an up quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Davjamtan, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Davjamtan, it will turn you into a tree.

Davjamtan's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Davjamtan's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never think ill of sick monkeys.

3. Never paint your head blue.

4. Never eat wheat.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.