Gofflyar is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, humorless centaur.

Gofflyar created the Cigar Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Gofflyar, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Gofflyar, he will turn you into a mouse.

Gofflyar's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Gofflyar's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Gofflyar must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never think ill of sick eagles.

5. Do not shave your feet.