Metsabvon is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, bad-tempered goblin.

Metsabvon created the world four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Metsabvon, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Metsabvon, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Metsabvon's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Metsabvon's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate tapirs.

2. Never feed turnips to swans while wearing purple shoes.

3. Never talk about stars.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never think about amino acids.