Laggepteen is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, irritating crocodile.

Laggepteen created everything that exists five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Laggepteen, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Laggepteen, it will turn you into a goat.

Laggepteen's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Laggepteen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Laggepteen.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not hurt tapirs.

5. Never pour water over plants.