Kemjenquatcet is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, kind dugong.

Kemjenquatcet created energy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kemjenquatcet, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kemjenquatcet, he will curse you with boils.

Kemjenquatcet's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Kemjenquatcet's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your hands gray.

2. Do not skip in public.

3. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never write about nebulae.