Hivjigjiptunmon is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, tranquil jaguar.

Hivjigjiptunmon created a quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hivjigjiptunmon, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Hivjigjiptunmon, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Hivjigjiptunmon's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Hivjigjiptunmon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat onions.

2. Erect seven platinum sculptures of Hivjigjiptunmon on top of important buildings.

3. Never laugh in the presence of snakes.

4. You must never eat peanuts.

5. Do not chop down trees.