Zedgovditnutganlak is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, amazing horse.

Zedgovditnutganlak created matter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedgovditnutganlak, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Zedgovditnutganlak, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Zedgovditnutganlak's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Zedgovditnutganlak's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Zedgovditnutganlak.

2. Never skip near monkeys.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never think about cell theory.