Didmetnak is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, boastful newt.

Didmetnak created the planet Venus seven million years ago.

If you believe in Didmetnak, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Didmetnak, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Didmetnak's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Didmetnak's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in holy places.

2. Always look after injured turtles.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never talk about great tits.

5. You must pray to Didmetnak nine times a day.