Vonstikmatcad Genmonpop is a god.

He takes the form of a small, humane lobster.

Vonstikmatcad Genmonpop created the Sombrero Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonstikmatcad Genmonpop, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Vonstikmatcad Genmonpop, he will destroy your favourite star.

Vonstikmatcad Genmonpop's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Vonstikmatcad Genmonpop's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed oranges to monkeys while wearing pink rings.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not trade with those who eat onions.

4. Put Vonstikmatcad Genmonpop first in all things.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.