Lenzaksan is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, happy newt.

Lenzaksan created a strange quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lenzaksan, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Lenzaksan, he will turn you into a duck.

Lenzaksan's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Lenzaksan's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed strawberries to seals while wearing magenta rings.

2. Never talk about galaxies.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.

4. Do not take Lenzaksan's name in vain.

5. Lenzaksan loves grasshopers, so they must be honoured.