Wonjarnpid is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, egotistical penguin.

Wonjarnpid created the planet Jupiter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wonjarnpid, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Wonjarnpid, she will turn you into a frog.

Wonjarnpid's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Wonjarnpid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never run in holy places.

3. Never talk about amino acids.

4. Run away from turquoise mites, for they are unholy.

5. Never mention eagles.