Bephomhad is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, witless monkey.

Bephomhad created a top quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bephomhad, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bephomhad, it will send minions to preach to you.

Bephomhad's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Bephomhad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. You must never eat limes.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Erect six nickel sculptures of Bephomhad on top of important buildings.

5. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.