Jabstangod is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, competent human.

Jabstangod created an up quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jabstangod, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Jabstangod, he will be very sad.

Jabstangod's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Jabstangod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

2. You must pray to Jabstangod six times a day.

3. Never feed bananas to mites while wearing pink dresses.

4. Never think about cell theory.

5. Feed all hungry grasshopers.