Lakrowmip is a god.

It takes the form of a small, impressive jaguar.

Lakrowmip created a bottom quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Lakrowmip, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Lakrowmip, it will make you grow a tail.

Lakrowmip's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Lakrowmip's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate monkeys.

2. Put Lakrowmip first in all things.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not kill shrews.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.