Larpdusslarnnilzog is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, confident fairy.

Larpdusslarnnilzog created a photon four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larpdusslarnnilzog, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Larpdusslarnnilzog, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Larpdusslarnnilzog's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Larpdusslarnnilzog's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from fawn snails, for they are unholy.

2. Rats are not to be trusted.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate turtles.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never paint your head turquoise.