Cimjanfas is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, tranquil chinchilla.

Cimjanfas created dark matter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cimjanfas, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cimjanfas, he will be very sad.

Cimjanfas' most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Cimjanfas' Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick swans.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.