Stragtamweg is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, tranquil octopus.

Stragtamweg created a strange quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Stragtamweg, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Stragtamweg, she will turn you into a snail.

Stragtamweg's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Stragtamweg's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Always obey Stragtamweg's priests.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Always stare at clouds.