Cissmapdun is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, grumpy lobster.

Cissmapdun created the Small Magellanic Cloud four billion years ago.

If you believe in Cissmapdun, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cissmapdun, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Cissmapdun's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Cissmapdun's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never mention ants.

3. Never bounce in the presence of sheep.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Always stare at clouds.