Gombitkik is a god.

She takes the form of a large, unselfish dolphin.

Gombitkik created bats five million years ago.

If you believe in Gombitkik, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gombitkik, she will destroy your home solar system.

Gombitkik's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Gombitkik's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never feed cucumbers to great tits while wearing blue skirts.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not laugh in public.

5. Never write about cell theory.