Babtonkflagban is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, competent otter.

Babtonkflagban created the Tadpole Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Babtonkflagban, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Babtonkflagban, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Babtonkflagban's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Babtonkflagban's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat nematodes with great respect.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Retreat if eight geese approach from the west.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.