Cetziming is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, egotistical gnu.

Cetziming created an atom two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cetziming, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Cetziming, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Cetziming's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Cetziming's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never laugh near hamsters.