Funappril is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, idiotic chicken.

Funappril created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Funappril, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Funappril, it will turn you into a dog.

Funappril's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Funappril's Holy Commandments

1. Funappril must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Run away if seven sheep approach from the west.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate manatees.

5. Always obey Funappril's priests.