Gatcenjig is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, uncaring mouse.

Gatcenjig created a down quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gatcenjig, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gatcenjig, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Gatcenjig's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Gatcenjig's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no cats in a room before entering it.

2. Do not wear silicon on your body.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Never eat turnips.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.