Ponstragtof is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, strong aardvark.

Ponstragtof created parasitic wasps nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ponstragtof, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ponstragtof, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Ponstragtof's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Ponstragtof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never hurt birds.

3. Never skip in the presence of hamsters.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Do not wear lead on your body.