Flabsidcemhanwig is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, cheerful otter.

Flabsidcemhanwig created dark energy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flabsidcemhanwig, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Flabsidcemhanwig, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Flabsidcemhanwig's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Flabsidcemhanwig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Always obey Flabsidcemhanwig's priests.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.

5. You must pray to Flabsidcemhanwig nine times a day.