Capyoknad is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, omnipotent slug.

Capyoknad created a bottom quark two years ago.

If you believe in Capyoknad, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Capyoknad, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Capyoknad's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Capyoknad's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never paint your chest violet.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.