Labtaflarp is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, flying jellyfish.

Labtaflarp created the Sun two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Labtaflarp, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Labtaflarp, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Labtaflarp's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Labtaflarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention otters.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Mites are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not trade with those who eat lemons.

5. Never look at stars.