Catsabnurt is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, amazing squirrel.

Catsabnurt created a down quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Catsabnurt, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Catsabnurt, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Catsabnurt's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Catsabnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about moons.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not speak about spinach.

4. Always help ducks.

5. Do not kill seals.