Gigzogfun is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, tiresome pig.

Gigzogfun created a quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gigzogfun, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gigzogfun, he will think nothing of it.

Gigzogfun's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Gigzogfun's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Always help snakes.

4. Never sing near grasshopers.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gigzogfun.