Gessfitquart is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, bad-tempered centipede.

Gessfitquart created parasitic wasps seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Gessfitquart, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gessfitquart, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Gessfitquart's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Gessfitquart's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Erect seven zinc sculptures of Gessfitquart on top of important buildings.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Gessfitquart loves pigs, so they must be honoured.