Bitlinfid is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, witless aardvark.

Bitlinfid created a Higgs boson seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitlinfid, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bitlinfid, she will turn you into a mole.

Bitlinfid's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Bitlinfid's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always look after injured manatees.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Always treat tapirs with great respect.

5. Do not take Bitlinfid's name in vain.