Bemmitgan is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, slow mink.

Bemmitgan created the Black Eye Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemmitgan, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bemmitgan, she will turn you into a goat.

Bemmitgan's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Bemmitgan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill ants.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Retreat if nine gulls approach from the east.

4. Do not bounce in public.

5. Never talk about gravity.